reminder that 30 isn’t old, it’s very normal to not accomplish everything in your 20s, and that it is never too late to learn that thing you’ve always wanted to learn. you’re always growing. that’s a good thing.
Who the hell accomplishes everything in their 20s? Who made that a thing?
I was 48 when I started my apprenticeship to become a tattoo artist. I was 50 when I married the love of my life.
You’ve got time.
I needed this right now. I’ve got time!!!
To anyone who needs to hear this, my aunt called my mom last year in tears and, as she talked about how things are going, she admitted that she didn’t know she could be so happy, and she didn’t know how good life could be.
She is 72. After a very rough go of things, she is now with someone who cherishes her (met him three years ago!), goes on bucket-list road trips multiple times a year, founded two nonprofits to help people who have been through similar struggles, and feels fulfilled.
30 isn’t too late. Neither is 40, nor 50, nor even 70.
No because pride and prejudice isn’t “I changed myself for you so you would love me back.” It’s “your blatant rejection and disdain for me made me realize things about myself no one had ever been bold enough to tell me so I sat down and evaluated all my behavior patterns and why they came about and came to the realization myself that I had to work on myself. Also I don’t expect you to love me now that I’m a work in progress, so I’m just going to do nice things for you because I don’t like seeing you hurt.” No wonder P&P fans refuse to settle.
This is going to sound silly, but there’s something really nice about going back to using a CD player and just listening to music without needing either my phone or my laptop.
No ads are interrupting what I’m listening to. There are no extra distractions flashing at me, trying to get my attention. Idk. It feels better for my ADHD in ways I hadn’t considered might actually be beneficial until now.
I hasten to add, this wasn’t a random discovery. The person I am doing somatic therapy with–who does ADHD counseling as well as trauma counseling–urged me to try this.
We had talked briefly about my reliance on earbuds to block out the world, and she was like, “Hm, yeah, I understand that desire from an ADHD perspective, but have you considered this might be setting your nervous system on edge?”
And I said, “What?”
And then she theorized, based on the way I described how I feel (like I’m being hunted for sport 90% of the time) that blocking my ability to hear my surroundings might be contributing in some way to my over active fight or flight instinct, because depriving myself of my ability to listen to my surroundings so thoroughly is putting other senses on to high alert (especially after spending two traumatic months with my parents who I had to listen out for coming to avoid conflict). Not to mention the constant stream of ads interrupting what I’m listening to, along with text and email alerts, which is the opposite of what I want when I’m trying to chill and listen to music.
She emphasized that it was fine sometimes, and she might be wrong, but also urged me to give this a go to see if it made my brain feel better.
I was extremely resistant to the idea. It seemed really silly. But as much as I hate to admit this, I think she might have been right.
